So most people know I LOVE hobby lobby. I am constantly decorating my house and I go there at least 2 times a week....My bank probably knows exactly how many times I go there in a month :) :)
So yesterday was no exception....I am there looking for new items for the house and buying tissue paper for my neices gifts. I am walking along and I notice not 1, not 2, not 3, but 4 pregnant women in the store. I silently think to myself I wish I was pregnant. So I continue to mind my own business and browse the store and low and behold I find that they have moved some aisles around. I walk right down an aisle full of baby shower items. STUPID STUPID ME.....I stop and start looking and next thing you know I am standing in the middle of the aisle bawling like a baby!!!
The thought that I will never hold a small miracle in my arms and rock them to sleep, or never smell the sweet smell of a baby, or never spend sleepless nights watching my beautiful child sleep, or never have that moment with my husband kills me.
I used to spend countless hours on my days off looking up new fertility treatments and cheaper ways to IVF and new RE's. Now I spend countless hours looking up breast cancer and treatments and odds and statistics. I am a total emotional mess and just when I think I am getting together something like Hobby Lobby hits me right in the face!! It has been said that you must fall to the bottom before you can get back up.....at this rate I am going to break every bone in my body with all the falling I am doing!!
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:( What a hard day. I can't imagine so I won't pretend I can. I'm praying for you though.
ReplyDeleteI've seen a few clinics offering to actually remove the ovary, cryopreserve it, and transplant it back after you are done chemo ... any thought on that? You don't have to do the stims or anything that way...
http://www.cellscience.com/reviews1/Ovarian_Transplantation_and_Cryopreservation.html