Surgery or IVF

I am going to have a laparoscopy done to see how damaged my tubes are. If they are within any kind of reasonable shape we are going to opt for a new technique of tubal surgery. If they are shit we are going to proceed with IVF. I think this is what suits us best and I know that God will guide us in our decision making and will be walking hand in hand as we continue on this fertility journey. At least we have some sort of diagnosis and a plan. I continue to pray for peace and give thanks for what I do have in my life. Thanks be to God for my life, my husband, my children and my health.

Emotional break down

I feel like I am really going to lose it soon. We are sinking in debt with all of the medical bills Leah's little stunt racked up. We are fighting the insurance companies to pay for them but I am not holding my breath. I am trying to hold our household together but I seem to be sinking myself. I think I might need something for anxiety but as a nurse it is really frowned on to be taking meds. I always thought having a baby would make me happy but right now I don't think that is my problem. I feel like I am stuck in every situation and the more I try and fight the farther I sink. I am awaiting an answer to getting our home loan modified since we did not qualify for a refinance. I can't seem to figure out how we went from making $30,000 a year with perfect credit to making $200,000+ a year and our credit in the shit hole!! It just does not make sense. If all else fails I think we may actually have to ask my in laws to help us refinance our house. I am not sure if AF is on her way and that's why I am so emotional or if she is planning to stay away for 9 months and that's my issue. We shall see soon!